Last week, I did a thing. I took the rare opportunity to travel. The stars aligned and all signs pointed to yes. My husband's travel was paid for by work (read: it will never be this cheap again), my in-laws offered to watch the kids for the week, and I easily found coverage for my classes. It all just fell into place. So meant-to-be.
So after playing single mom to 2 little ones for 4 weeks (one of the most trying months of my life), I packed up and flew halfway around the world to New Zealand all by myself, with very loose plans in case my husband was delayed meeting me there. He was. By 2 days, nearly 3, if he hadn't hitched a ride on someone else's Medivac flight off the ice (did I mention he went to Antarctica?) and flew all night to meet me in Queenstown on Wednesday morning. I made all my flights, got to my gorgeous hotel, and experienced dinner alone for the first time. I felt so brave and independent, a feeling I am realizing I need to seek out in my life as an adult. I had a lot of time to think in those first couple days. What would I do? Where would I go? I had forgotten to exchange cash at the airport after getting sick on the plane for the first time in my adult life. So I couldn't purchase a bus pass. The answer that came to me each time I asked was "rest".
What a novel concept. What does that even mean to me? I slept on it. I don't think it means loafing around all day. I interpreted it as "self-care", so first, Buti Yoga in my hotel room. The first class I took as a student in a long time. Patio curtain open to see the Remarkables range as a backdrop, (warm!) sun on my face. After the release of uncertainty and of sadness not to be able to share this beautiful place quite yet with my partner, my answer became very clear (my ideas always come in a hot shower or just before sleep). I needed a pedicure. Shallow, maybe, but it's amazing how often one stares at ones own toes teaching yoga. And I had a rare moment without childcare responsibilities or plans with my spouse, and I decided to take advantage. And you know what? Let's add a massage to it for once. I never end up on the receiving end of one of those. Why not? I had the whole day. So for some reason I had trouble dialing out on the hotel phone (and didn't want to use international roaming on my cell), so I called the front desk. Olivia offered to book the appropriate package for me, charge it to my room for convenience, and even call me a cab. That was so unexpected. She gave me suggestions for where to shop and eat, and off I went. On my own. With my big girl pants on.
I was pampered and blessed to meet a Fijian woman who painted my toes and told me all about her country, her customs, about New Zealand and the broader Australio-Pacific relationships between the "Big Sisters" and the little islands. And I felt like I was in the right place at the right time of my life. The larger countries there help out the smaller, poorer islands. They take responsibility for the environmental effects that have a greater impact on the smaller islands. They value family over material things, and welcome and share with others. This theme will be repeated later in the week.
I returned to the hotel to grab a bite and a drink, sat at the bar alone, outside my comfort zone, and also chatted with a nice bartender from England, now a world traveler at the ripe age of 30. She suggested the canyon swing (like a bungee jump without the bounce). That suggestion stuck with me like I knew I needed to face that fear of heights. I settled on the canyon zipline...a 15ft drop before being sent across the same canyon. I booked it for later in the day, figured I would read a little and explore town for a bite and some shopping beforehand. Then I got word that my partner had made it to New Zealand...and was somewhere en route to me from Christchurch. So I booked the zipline for 2 and we went together. I was giddy with excitement to see him for the first time in a long time.
The thought in my head turned from "rest" to "safe". My partner brings me a sense of security, which I have determined makes me somewhat complacent and more fearful of the unknown. The lesson learned being that I do need to venture outside this security net frequently in order to face those fears and prove to myself that they can be at times unnecessary and act only to limit my potential and my joy. Speaking of facing fears, I have a fear of heights, of cliffs, specifically. To the point where I sometimes have to sit down far away from the edge when hiking, and avoid those hikes that end at a cliff. What I didn't realize was that avoiding those hikes deprives me of the view from the top, the adrenaline and presence you feel in those moments, when you push your boundaries. Also by avoiding them, I further entrench them by depriving myself of the opportunity to prove that fear irrational. So off we went, on a van with a funny Kiwi and a group of other strangers. And one young lady was by herself, so I lived that solo experience vicariously through her, as I watched my partner launch off and then took that leap of faith myself.
Next day, we decided to do a tour of the local Lord of the Rings filming locations in Glenorchy and Paradise. A great way to see the beauty of the area in the short few days we had together. Though the road was curvy and Kiwis are crazy drivers. Motion sickness strikes again.
Friday was the only tour I booked ahead of time. A wine tour in Wanaka led by a local Maori man. Infused with storytelling, history, and discussion about local Maori culture and also the history of the relatively new and exploding wine making industry in the Central Otago region. This was educational in many ways, as we know little about wine, New Zealand as a whole, and the cultural roots of its people. Joe explained so much of what I had already experienced in this country, summed up in a simple, concise way. The three themes of Maori culture are Family, Environmentalism, and Hospitality. I felt all 3 simply infused within almost all of my interactions and experiences there. Even those 3 themes can be distilled down to one to rule them all...LOVE.
We reluctantly returned to our real lives late last night, eager to see our kids, but longing to stay and explore more. I left New Zealand feeling so safe and comfortable, happiness and humor in most interactions, feeling like everyone watched out for each other, a genuine kindness in their ways. Safe and cared for. The energy changed when we landed back in Houston. I retreated a bit, but tried to project the New Zealand spirit into my interactions with others, instead of approaching conversations with skepticism and fear. Experiencing other cultures truly helps us gain perspective, makes us more accepting of others, and helps us see that there are other ways of living life. I choose to spread and share that love.
Peace.
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